Earlier this year I was lucky enough to visit the UK, and while I was there I, of course, went to Stratford-Upon-Avon. One of the purchases I made in the Bard’s gift shop was a tiny little book called The Bard’s Guide to Abuses and Affronts. After all, who can resist the opportunity to insult someone in Elizabethan?
Imagine my further delight when I discovered a section subtitled Love and Lust. Today I’d like to share some of these with you. Believe me when I tell you they are truly inspiring, and I’m already writing a sex scene based around one.
“She adulterates hourly.” King John
“That kiss is comfortless as frozen water to a starved snake.” Titus Andronicus (and ouch!)
“I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.” Much Ado about Nothing
“Such is the simplicity of man to harken after the flesh.” Love’s Labour’s Lost
“Being no other but as she is, I do not like her.” Much Ado about Nothing
I’d hate to have gotten into a slanging match with Shakespeare. From what I’ve read of his, he had a real way with insults!